Decoding the Initial Hurdle: Why Days 1–5 Are the Toughest in Habit Formation

Have you ever tried to give up a habit or cultivate a new one and found that the initial days were unbearably difficult? I recently reflected upon this, and I had a lightbulb moment that I’d like to share with you.

When I glanced at my personal attempts at creating new habits or breaking old ones, a pattern emerged. Here’s what it looked like:

1 day, 1 day, 1 day, 0.5 days (oops), 2 days, 4 days, and a whopping ~15 days and counting.

Let’s put things into perspective. I, like many others, was trying to harness what I like to refer to as ‘superpowers’. These are not the Marvel-esque superpowers you’re thinking of, but personal ones. For me, these were a heightened sense of confidence, improved social conversations (with both genders), and a magnetic urge to meet new people. But as amazing as these ‘superpowers’ were, I found myself falling back into my old habits. The reason? A conflict of interest inside our brain!

The Unconscious and Short-term Gratification

The unconscious part of our brain is like a stubborn child. It is drawn towards immediate pleasure without considering long-term consequences. Imagine you’re in a candy store. Your unconscious brain is the kid who wants that big lollipop NOW, no matter how bad it might be for the teeth later on. And it doesn’t just stop at candies. Take, for example, the allure of indulging in things like pornography. There’s evidence suggesting that porn can trigger dopamine releases even stronger than real-life intimate experiences. The unconscious brain, in its primal wisdom, sees this as an upgraded version of sex, “Sex 2.0”, if you will.

Now, when juxtaposed against this immediate gratification on Day 2 of your new habit journey, the benefits seem non-existent. The choice is glaringly obvious for the unconscious: Dive headfirst into that dopamine-packed activity.

The Shift in Power Dynamics by Day 5

However, when you push through and hit the Day 5 mark, the playing field begins to change. The ‘superpowers’ you were aiming for start to emerge, subtly but surely. Now, the unconscious brain is in a dilemma. It’s no longer a choice between “Sex 2.0” and nothing. It’s “Sex 2.0” versus newfound confidence, improved social interactions, and a zest for life.

The decision isn’t clear-cut anymore. The tug-of-war intensifies, and this is when the conscious brain enters the arena. Fortunately, the conscious brain is where our true decision-making power lies. It assesses both short-term and long-term gains, giving us a fighting chance to make the right choice.

Conclusion

To put it simply, the initial days of forming or breaking a habit are a battleground where our unconscious brain seeks immediate gratification. But as we persevere, the scales start to tip in favor of the conscious brain and long-term benefits. It’s this dynamic that makes the initial days a massive hurdle for most.

This theory offers a fresh perspective on why many people find the early days of habit formation so daunting. And even if you don’t fully agree, it’s worth pondering upon. For those interested in diving deeper into the dichotomy of our conscious and subconscious brain, I recommend checking out:
Corsini, R. J., & Wedding, D. (2011). Current psychotherapies (9th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

Until next time, keep pushing through those challenging initial days, and let the transformation begin!

This article was inspired by a Reddit post from user u/throwthatshitaaways. All credit to the original ideas and thoughts.